From Stress to Strength: Helping Children Navigate Life's Pressures
Stress. It’s a word we can all relate to in some shape or form just by living our lives and often associate with adult life—work deadlines, bills, and packed schedules, but stress is a normal part of life for children and teens, too.
From the pressure of a school exam to challenges with friends, children encounter various stressors that can impact their well-being. Whilst a little stress can be a positive motivator, helping children rise to a challenge and build resilience, too much can be overwhelming.
As parents and teachers, you can't prevent stress entirely, but you can equip children with the tools to manage it effectively. The first step is learning to recognise the signs.
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It isn’t always obvious when a child is feeling stressed. They might not have the words to express their feelings, or they may even try to hide them. Stress can manifest differently depending on the child's age and personality, but there are common signs to watch for.
Physical Symptoms:
Stomach aches or headaches with no clear physical cause.
Changes in eating habits, such as a decreased appetite or eating more or less than usual.
Sleep disturbances, including difficulty sleeping, nightmares, or waking in the night.
New or recurrent bedwetting.
Increased heart rate and breathing rate.
Emotional and Behavioral Changes:
Irritability, anger, or mood swings. Children may become tearful or have outbursts that seem out of control.
Difficulty concentrating or being forgetful.
Anxiety and worry, including new or recurring fears (like fear of the dark).
Withdrawal from friends, family, or activities they once enjoyed.
Clinginess or separation anxiety, especially in younger children.
Regression to earlier behaviours, such as thumb-sucking.
Children may not realise these behaviors are linked to stress, so it’s important for the adults around them to notice any persistent changes.
Once you've recognised the signs, there are lots of practical ways to help children cope with their feelings and build emotional resilience. The goal isn't to eliminate stress, but to help a child manage it.
1. Create a Safe Space to Talk
Listen without judgment: Often, children just want to be heard. Let them talk through their feelings without immediately trying to solve the problem.
Validate their feelings: Acknowledge their emotions by saying things like, "I can see you're angry about turning off the TV," or "I know you're scared, and that's okay". This shows them their feelings matter.
Be a role model: Be open about your own stress in a healthy way. Sharing how you cope with pressure shows children that it's normal and manageable.
2. Encourage Proactive and Relaxing Activities
Get Active: Physical activity is a powerful stress-reliever. It releases endorphins that can help manage difficult feelings. This can be anything from a family walk, riding a bike, dancing to music, or playing a sport.
Practice Relaxation Techniques: Simple, calming activities can help soothe an overwhelmed mind and body.
Belly Breathing: This technique can relax the body, slow the heartbeat, and help a child think more clearly. Have them lie down, place a hand on their belly, and breathe in through their nose so their belly expands, then exhale through their mouth.
Muscle Relaxation: Guide your child to tense and then release different muscle groups, from their face down to their toes. This helps them recognize and release physical tension caused by stress.
Guided Imagery: Encourage your child to imagine a happy, safe place, like a beach or a park. Focusing on the sights, sounds, and smells of this place can slow their breathing and relax their muscles.
3. Provide Constructive Outlets for Emotions
Journaling: Writing or drawing in a journal can be a private way for a child to process thoughts and feelings, solve problems, and relieve stress.
Giving Thanks: Focusing on gratitude can help put things in perspective. Encourage your child to write down things they're thankful for or write a letter to a loved one expressing their appreciation.
Pay It Forward: Acts of kindness can make children feel happier themselves. Helping a sibling with a task, volunteering, or even just giving a compliment are great ways to shift focus outward.
4. Maintain Routines and Plan Ahead
Consistency is Comforting: Regular routines, especially for meals and bedtime, provide a sense of security and stability, which is crucial during stressful times.
Break Down Big Tasks: If a big project or exam is causing stress, help your child break it down into smaller, manageable steps. This makes challenges feel less overwhelming.
Focus on What They Can Control: Feeling a loss of control is a common cause of stress. Help your child identify the parts of a situation they can control, like how they prepare for a test, rather than things they can't.
When to Seek Professional Help?
Whilst these strategies are effective for managing everyday stress, sometimes more support is needed. If your child's stress or anxiety isn't getting better or is significantly interfering with their school, friendships, or family life, it’s a good idea to seek professional guidance.
Your child's doctor, a school counsellor, or a mental health professional can offer further support and resources.
Many of the mechanisms I have discussed above are also ones I have used over the years with my ptsd so they have been well and truly road tested and they worked for me, but not everybody is built the same so if something doesn't work for your child just try something else and good luck!
As always, thank you for your support. Please share this across your social media, and if you do have any comments, questions, or concerns, then feel free to reach out to me here or on BlueSky, as I am always happy to spend some time helping to protect children online.
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